Why Communicating Consent Matters in Healthy Relationships

Interview first appeared on the podcast here.

Lee Warren is the co-founder, designer, and builder of a sustainability co-housing community at Earthaven Ecovillage in Black Mountain, North Carolina as well as the co-founder of the 5-acre cooperative farm, Imani Farm. She is an herbalist, writer, teacher, and food activist with an avid interest in rural wisdom, alternative relationships, sustainable economics, and women’s issues. She is the Managing Partner of the organic food production learning institute, School of Integrated Living(SOIL). Additionally, she is the Executive Director of the Organic Growers Schoolin Asheville, NC.

Lee joins me today to discuss the multi-faceted concept of consent and the importance of communicating consent and boundaries to build stronger andhealthier relationships. She explains the “wheel of consent,” the crucial role consent plays in your personal and professional relationships, and the importance of communicating your preferences. She also shares why it’s important to reframe ‘no’ as an act of liberation instead of a rejection.

“When you say ‘no,’ you’re saying ‘yes’ to something else. And that’s your sovereignty.”  – Lee Warren

This week on Relationships! Let’s Talk About It:

• Understanding the concept and full scope of consent.
• The different realms of abuse and why consent transcends sexuality.
• How restrictions imposed upon us during childhood affect our perceptions of intimacy as adults
• Why saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ has everything to do with you and nothing to do with the other person.
• Reframing ‘no’ from rejection to liberation.
• The importance of being able to trust responses from others.
• Why consent doesn’t take the sexiness and appeal out of things, despite what most people may think.
• How consent changes things for the better, especially when it comes to intimacy.
• The importance of communicating your preferences and how the overall experience is for you.
• Consent outside of the sexual realm.
• Coercion and co-dependency, and why we need to move away from them.
• The value of listening.
• How adults “play,” and how consent figures into that need.
• Tackling the barriers of intimacy.
• How consent opens new pathways for showing adoration and communicating warmth.
• The need for different ways to say ‘no’.
• Why saying ‘no’ is actuallysaying ‘yes’ to something else.
• How you can learn what’s ‘yes’ and what’s ‘no’ for you.

 Connect with Lee Warren:

• Imani Farm
• School of Integrated Living website
• Organic Growers School website